so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry about my life...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
