u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
