i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
