I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize