He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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