maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
