Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
