Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
