Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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