I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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