i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
