why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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