Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
