we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
