shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
