I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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