He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
