She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
