Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize