I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
