So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
