Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
God, I missed his penis.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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