Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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