Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
