We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
