i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize