This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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