Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
