Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
