This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize