Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
