So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
