It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
time to smoke my breakfast
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
