I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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