and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
