I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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