those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
