why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
