using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize