just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
