You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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