Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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