Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm passing your future prison.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
