so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
