after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
