i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
