Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
