how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
