You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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