I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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