turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize