What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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