I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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