You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
