Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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