Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
