My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We need to get me chipped asap
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
