I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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