I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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