I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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