Where are you?
In a non slutty way
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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