it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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