You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
