one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize