im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
