she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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