you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
