he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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