I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
