I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
How external is "for external use only"?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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