did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
