i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize