what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
