I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He felt like a one man threesome
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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