I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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