So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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