How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
