arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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