The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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